So I had to buy this candle because it reminded me of my life at the holidays— roughly for 15 years of my adult life.
I may not have eaten a whole pie (I like pie– but that not much)– but probably ate a whole something else– like container of cookies or bottle of wine.
Why did I do this? Without judging, shaming or in any way making this something bad– I’m just curious. Have you ever gotten curious about your holiday habits?
It’s a very insightful process when we choose to examine our thoughts, behaviors and the like during the last month of the year.
For me, I had no idea how to navigate the holidays with the trauma, the addiction, the dysfunction, the abuse that was part of it for me.
It was too much to feel all of that– because I had no idea what to do with it.
So I knew no other ways to walk through the deep and muddy waters without something to keep me disconnected from myself– in order to maintain the status quo vs. the truth of it all– I had to stay numb to it.
This took a HUGE toll on me. It added to the already traumatic wounds I was carrying.
And looking at it now– I really had no idea. I just knew I needed to keep doing the same thing, because no one or no thing ever supported me to knowing there was another way.
You may not have all the layers I have had in my life— however, we’ve all had shit. No person I’ve spoken to has lived-a life only of easy. We may think that others do– whether they have something we don’t have (more money, more physical beauty, more friends, more success)– but I would pay good money to say that just aint so on this planet.
ANDDDDDDD— it’s a good thing for us to feel some discomfort. Because it will lead us back to ourselves. Back to where the heart of JOY resides– within.
So those cookies, that booze, that over-spending— all of them were signs. They weren’t the problem– they were the symptom. And they were exactly what helped me survive– so I don’t judge myself for any of it.
I just know now– that I can do it differently. I can align with my truth– and be present.
We are all on journeys here— big, little, scary, life-changing— and when we open to the knowledge that we’ve had the power all along (thank you Glenda the good witch of Oz)— we heal.
If any of you read this and think— I would like to feel better like Stacey has figured out how to….this is the way of life coaching……and I’d love to support you in your journey, click here to share a virtual coffee together and chat.